Much as I hate that I've disappointed my Mistress, I have, and I knew she would be disappointed in me before I admitted to failing to keep the gift I had giving her. I feel horrible about it, I felt discussed with myself even after I had done it and had not told her about it yet.
What did I do? I came without permission, though I tried to justify it in my head at first as if I had done nothing wrong, but it gnawed at me that I had broken my word to her, that I had giving into my lust, and had done so not on my days off like I was told I could, but a couple days before my days off, though that should have actually been over as I have a steady place to stay for a good while.
I didn't want to tell her, I didn't want to hurt her, but I had to tell her, so I tried to work myself up to telling her and well I felt better for least coming clean, but worst for having her disappointed in me.
So why did I do it? I was horny obviously, but that wasn't the reason, I've been aching for release before and not masturbated, but the night before last Mistress wasn't on at all when I got home, I waited to about 2am and still hadn't seen Her.
I think partly just cause lately, the last few weeks just hadn't been doing it for me, She had told me that i could cum once a week on my days off, but I didn't want to just have permission once a week, I had wanted her to want me to. That I was cumming when and where she wanted me to do so. To ask her and have her tell me to now, or possibly to say hmm...no not tonight, was so hot that night where i got so close and was told no..
I know its not Her fault that we haven't been able to get our time on Skype together where she could hear me and I could hear her, as real life has just been a pain the ass for both of us. But with so much less moments where it was more real to me, knowing she's listening to me, my whimpers, and my want, its been more frustrating to me.
I do still want her in control of my releases, and hopefully she will forgive me.
Aside from that I've been wanting to do more as a submissive, to learn to better serve her, to have her in control of more of my life then at present.