How do you 'teach' someone about BDSM, and in particular D/s? If someone comes to you and says 'teach me how to be a good sub', what do you say? And more importantly, what do you do?

I mean, everyone's take on BDSM is slightly different. That's one of the beautiful things about it. So I can teach someone the things that I like, but that won't necessarily help them with the next person they come across. I know some of the general postures that are often used, and can pass those along, but I have my favourites and my variations on those, so those lessons are going to be slanted to what I like. I know some of the general expectations of the majority of the community, but if I disagree with them, I'm certainly not going to perpetuate them, possibly setting a sub up for a whole lot of relearning at some later point. And then there's the whole 'good sub' thing. I can't teach someone else to be a 'good' sub. I can help give them skills and help them improve those skills. But submission is an individual thing. I can't make them more or less submissive, and I can't make it so that they'll be able to find a match with a 'good' Dom/me.

So what do I do when some approaches me and asks for teaching? It doesn't help that I'm a 'green' personality type, which means that I actually really enjoy teaching. But I can only teach what I already know, and I'm still learning and working things out for myself yet. With lion, it's a bit different, since the lessons we need to learn are best learned together, since we're aiming towards 'what works for us'. And with lion, I'm not worried about him having to unlearn 'bad' behavious later on in life in order for him to be able to be with someone else. Maybe I should be, but I'm not.

So how do I deal with it when some eager young sub comes to me, asking me to 'enlighten their ignorance' with my 'vast' knowledge of BDSM (yes, I'm being a bit heavy on the sarcasm there)?

The truth is, I have agreed to help one young sub find his way on this path through this lifestyle he has just stumbled on, and absolutely loves. He's young and new, and I don't mind sharing advice and teaching a few basic skills in the least. It appeals to the teacher in me.

his first lesson?

No means no. Period. I've seen the effects of someone pushed beyond their boundaries, and it's not pretty. That's why we set limits and safe words, to protect each other and ourselves. I don't care who you are or who you're with, if something is happening that you're not comfortable with, then you need to hold up a stop sign and halt the actions. Personally, I might talk you to death afterwards, exploring why it made you uncomfortable, but I will never push someone beyond their boundaries. Stretching those boundaries is another topic for another time.

his second lesson? The three core rules that I have. Everything else is an expectation, but for me, there are three rules that are an absolute must for a good strong relationship.

1) Respect - I believe that everyone deserves a basic amount of respect, until they either prove they don't deserve respect at all, or until they earn more respect. And that respect goes out to everyone, dominant, submissive, other, vanilla, etc.

2) Honesty - Honest communication is vital in any BDSM interaction, even the most casual of encounters. This ties back to the first lesson. Everyone needs to be able to be honest with themselves about their needs/wants/desires/fears/etc, and they also need to be honest with their partner about those same things. Otherwise they're setting themselves up for one hell of a potential backlash.

3) Courtesy - Like respect, I believe that everyone deserves basic common courtesy. This means being polite, and using words like please and thank you. It does not mean addressing everyone else as Master, Mistress, Ma'am or Miss, or any other honourific out there. If it makes you happy to use those words, then go ahead, but you don't have to, as long as you're being courteous in your conversation.

Of course, the above items are not nearly exhaustive, but they do explain a bit of what I expect. All the other 'rules' that I have, stem from those three fundamental rules. I don't think I have time to type out all of my other rules, and the reasoning behind them at the moment. Perhaps later.


Don't Ask Don't Tell, closer to being done away with

Something that I'm rather proud is finally coming about is the abolishment of the don't ask don't tell policy in the US armed services.

I'm not really sure why the policy was put in place to begin with.  I think that it was perhaps put there to be a way to protect LGBT people while serving in the armed forces, but not sure it did, or ever did much in that re-guard.

Now if only they can do more about religious discrimination in the military


Children and 24/7 D/s

I've been letting my thoughts on this topic percolate around in my brain for a while now, ever since lion told me about the podcast he'd listened to on the topic. I was a bit shocked to hear that there were people in the lifestyle who thought that children and D/s shouldn't co-exist. Ok, more than a bit shocked. Especially considering the fact that it was something I just couldn't see a problem with.

And then I started to wonder if maybe I was being a bad mother by not seeing that there was a problem with having a 24/7 D/s relationship with children in the house. I'm a bit of a worrier that way. L

But the more I thought about it, the less reason I could see to consider it a bad idea. Sure, like I said in a previous post, there'll be no naked sub waiting to greet me at the door. Well, maybe on special occasions when the kidlet is guaranteed to be away. But in general, it's not going to happen. So what? Naked subs are not essential for D/s. Nor is having a fully equipped dungeon in the basement. Nor is having sex whenever and wherever. Nor is constantly reminding him of his place through humiliation or other methods. Nor is... Do we sense a pattern here?

The fact is, I don't consider any of those things essential, in any way, for a D/s relationship. They might be icing on the cake, but they're not the cake. The only constant reminder I need that lion is mine, is the symbol he wears at his throat. And somehow, I think that the same probably holds true for him.

Rituals and habits can be formed, that make it so that no overt orders need to be made in front of unsuspecting children. The children don't need to know that dad always sets the table because mom told him that was his job to do. The children probably won't care, except that it's one less chore they have to do. Likewise, they probably won't care who does the majority of the housework, or who opens the doors for whom, or any of the other myriad small ways that one can show precedence to another. They might notice that mom has the final say in most, if not all decisions. But really, how different is that from any vanilla relationship? L

So yes, it might mean curtailing the outward, highly visible signs of a D/s relationship if there are children in the household, but I don't see a reason to hide the relationship completely. Ultimately, I think the sacrifices of those outward signs (icing) on a daily basis can be more than compensated for at other times. Just send the kids to aunty's house for the weekend or something, and enjoy each other to your heart's content.

Besides, I can't think of any better compensation for having to do without all that icing, than knowing that my lion is never more than a touch away.


What Lube Does Matter

Being someone who is into anal a play a bit, or least using my favorite anal plug the zing.  I noticed in of the blogs I followed a post about anal lubes and the transmission of STIs.

Apparently what lube you use can increase the likely hood of a STI being transmitted, but of course this if either of you have a STI to begin with.  Also sometimes wondered how they would test if something helps prevent the transmitting of STIs or STDs without of course having a bunch of people just use them and keeping track of the results.  Always had this horrible image get in my head of them taking a group of people with the disease and a group that didn't and randomly pairing them up and then keeping track of who gets something and who doesn't.  Which would sorta be a horrible way to test something.

"This study was done on cells in a lab. It doesn't prove that the same thing happens in the human body, but it does mean it's possible. Combined with the results of the study that found an increased risk of STIs with lube usage, it starts to appear that what kind of lube you use really matters."

So Anyway what the study found was that certain common kinds of lube, Astroglide ( one of the few that i've tried from work that i like ), KY Jelly, not really sure what versions, but the ones they tested increased the transition, and in the case of KY killed off bacteria some of which are normal and beneficial.

The good ones where PRÉ and Wet Platinum, both of these didn't do anything to the beneficial bacteria or increase the likely hood of STI transmission.  The thing about Wet Platinum to remember though is that it is a silicone based lube which wont' be very good to your silicone toys.

PRÉ apparently is advertised as promoting fertility as well as being a friendly lubricant that doesn't hard the body. How well it effects how likely you are to get pregnant I don't really know, but then I'm talking primarily about it being used for anal play specifically. 

To find out more about this study, please visit Sugar's blog post on it.


Balancing 24/7 D/s with children in the mix

Was listing to Dungeon Place today on my way to work, and they where answering some listener questions.  One of the questions had to do with someone that my love Cridhe mentioned her post here.  About having a daughter and about balancing the D/s relationship around her daughter being in both our lives if things move to that step, which I am very hopeful that they do.

Course I realize that her daughter most likely isn't going to take to me well in the begin and most likely won't ever see me as a father figure, but is my hope as me and Cridhe walk our paths that her daughter and me can at least become friends if not good friends.

The problem is of course how do you balance what children might know about your D/s relationship.  One of the people on the podcast was quite vocal about you don't have D/s around the children, least not in any open way that they will witness.  Like Cridhe had said, there will be no naked sub waiting at the door, though if sometime the daughter is away when i'm expecting her home, it may be a nice way to surprise her.

One way around some things they stated would be some sort of gesture like getting the Doms attention and then tugging a earlobe or something to indicate you need permission for something.  Other things they talked about is as they get older into the teenage years answering questions truthfully but only when and what is asked.

I think for the most part if you can keep what should be private, private, you can still enjoy some D/s exchanges even its a bit more covertly and taking great care not to expose your child to your lifestyle.  Later in life they may come to you with questions and I think its important to be open and honest when that does happen.

Having children in the mix, is certainly going to present changes that your and your significant other, or others are going to have to come up with creative solutions for.

Remember, what happens behind closed doors, happens behind closed doors.  You children are most likely not going to want to know about your sex life much.  I know I didn't really enjoy sitting around having dinner one night with my mom, and having her bring up that her boyfriend at the time didn't want to go down on her.

And just a aside, if you didn't know, not every woman enjoys oral sex, or having the clit directly stimulated.  I had at least one sexual partner out of the three that I have had in my life, that was adamantly opposed to me giving her oral.  A travesty for me, cause its something I really do love doing, and I love watching, feeling their reactions, even more so if i can get them to cum this way while i'm still going down on them... oh sorry where was I?

Some of the other things they talked about is sex education briefly.   This is something I to believe is very important, and as was stated on the podcast, the parents are the number one source of sex education for your children, but I do also think its important that the schools we send our kids to have a robust sexual education system in place.

I don't know how things are in Canada, but I know in the states at least, far to many schools have mediocre at best sex education, and I also think the schools that separate the boys from the girls for sex education, do them both a disservice.

Young boys may not need to know about contraceptives and such for first hand knowledge, but it may come in handy if they can talk openly to prospective partners about them.  I'm also sure a fair number of women would like it if there male partner knows more about the vagina, about the outer and inner labia, where the clit is, etc.

But talk to your kids, even as young as maybe 11 or 12, cause kids are experimenting at much younger ages now.  Also if you catch your child masturbating, try not to make them feel bad about it.  There is nothing that should be seen as being wrong with pleasuring ones self, other then perhaps doing in front of your dinner guests.  Just explain that it shouldn't be done in front of other people, least not ones that haven't consented to being voyeurs of it.

All I can think to post for now, so I'll leave off here.


Sex Ed

I had the 'pleasure' of observing a scene the other day, between a Domme, a female sub, and a male sub in one of the BDSM chatrooms that I visit. Please note that whenever I refer to anyone online as Dom/me or sub, I use the terms loosely. Sometimes VERY loosely.

The Domme was directing the two subs in their interactions. It wasn't the worst scene I've ever observed, but it wasn't the best either. And then something occurred that made me go WTF?? and start giggling. The Domme directed the female sub to arouse the male sub and make sure he was good and hard...and then to put a cock cage (chastity device) on him. And EVERYONE PROCEEDED AS IF THIS WAS NOT ONLY NORMAL...BUT POSSIBLE!!

I had to bite my tongue not to say anything. I mentioned the incident to my lion, and we had a good giggle over it. Especially considering his own chastity device should be arriving in the mail in the not too distant future. The whole concept of enforced chastity is something we both find interesting and we've been doing a bit of information gathering online. I'll let you know how our own experiments with it go.

But obviously these three individuals had no idea how a chastity device really works, or at least that the general point of a chastity device is to prevent him from being able to achieve full erection. They are generally designed to only go on while he's flacid. And the thought made me pause. Here were three people who had no idea how to really use the 'toys' they're using online; there must obviously be a lot more that I haven't run into personally. And then I cringed, thinking of how many of those people got all excited about something they did online, ran out to the store to buy it to try it at home in person, and were completely disappointed, perhaps to never consider trying again.

Sex education is a vital part of most school programs. We teach our children about the dangers of STDs, about safe sex, about how the body works and how pregnancy works. Maybe we need to start a sex ed class for adults...on how to use the many delightful toys out there, and how to truly enjoy them.

I'm thinking registration for a fall session could begin now. Small class sizes, to reduce the blushing. Weekly classes for 12 weeks perhaps. Anyone interested? LOL

Google Reader and Adult Blogs

I've been using Google Reader for awhile now, and there is one thing that I rather don't like about it.  It has a recommended sources feature that seems entirely to limited in the sources that it will suggest to you.

I follow a number of sites dealing with various areas of human sexuality, as well, Sex is interesting.  Its fun, its enjoyable, its fun to read about.   Its specially fun to read about some of the kinkier types of sex that people enjoy and has giving me allot to think about over the past few years that I've explored things far more.

The thing I don't like about Google reader right now, is it will suggest other atheist blogs to me, which, while i don't mind reading some of those from time to time, I've grown disinterested with the myriad of how stupid some fundamentalist religious people are.  It will also suggest some other comics and image blogs to follow, but far as the adult, sexuality stuff, it will suggest nothing.

Some of the blogs I like to follow are Unspeakable Axe, The Edge of Vanilla, The Blowfish Blog, among others, and if anyone has any good suggestions, specially ones from a male submissive stand point, please contact me.

I've used Google Reader largely for convenience, their may be better blog reading services that I am just not aware of as well.  Seems like I just use Google for pretty much everything.


About Honorifics and Real Life Transference

I've thought a couple times since I've been with Cridhe, when i'm in the chat site that we met, poolsidechat.com about what do I call her?  I knew that she was a S/witch so calling her Mistress somehow seemed a bit wrong, as it only would address part of what she is, though she is my Mistress and I am her submissive.   We also talked a bit about honorifics and I think she said she didn't necessarily want to be called Ma'am all the time.

Though if it was something she wanted me to call her, at certain times, either answering with yes Mistress, or yes Ma'am at times, to show my obedience, I most certainly would.

For the most part lately it feels like I've just entered the BDSM lifestyle anew.  Sure I've viewed myself as being at least sorta submissive, but I haven't really thought to much about it being a major part of my life cause until now, it hasn't really been that prominent.  Through this blog, I do hope that perhaps a couple things will happen, one being perhaps to show my growth as a submissive, and two to perhaps help our journey to get where we are going. 



I find it interesting that my lion chose to write me a short story about the transfer of a long distance and essentially v/t relationship to a 24/7 r/t relationship. In the three days prior to him writing that, I had discussions with two different people about that very topic, neither of which dicussions I shared with him.

Both of those discussions centred around the issues that can arise whenever someone takes a relationship from the virtual safety of the internet, to the uncertainty of real life. I know there are a lot of people out there who successfuly navigate their way into a strong, committed real life D/s relationship, having started out online. There are also a lot more who fail utterly. So why do some succeed and some fail? And where will lion and I stand in the statistics, once all is said and done?

I suppose, looking at it from a neutral point of view, any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, that starts out online and then moves to real life, faces some pretty unique challenges as compared to the 'traditional' methods of starting a relationship. Online relationships are theoretical. We get to know the other person's mind and heart before we ever learn about their physical quirks and flaws. Which can be absolutely wonderful. After all, if the emphasis is on WHO the person is rather than on what they LOOK like, it opens up whole new realms of possible mates. And it is so much easier for a shy person to be themselves online, than in person. It's all part of the fantasy of the internet.

And that's the problem that I can see. An online relationship is, at least partially, a fantasy. Take any fantasy book or movie and shine the cold hard light of reality on them, and they're just children's dreams. Not really an image you want to contemplate applying to your relationship. But if both parties know and accept that there are going to be some serious adjustments and compromises that will need to be made, and both parties are willing to make those adjustments and compromises, I don't see why any v/t relationship transfering to r/t should have any less chance of success than two people who have been together r/t for a while, and have decided to move in together. After all, if one of his bad habits is leaving his stinky socks in the middle of the living room, does it really matter if the reason you didn't discover that bad habit was because he lived thousands of miles away instead of a couple of blocks away?

Ok, so now that both parties have accepted the fact that they're going to have to do some adjusting and compromising in order for their relationship to continue to work on a 24/7 basis, what's next? Well, for me, I have a family. My daughter needs to be considered. My extended family and friends need to be considered as well. The environment that someone is coming into will dictate how these things are handled. There will be no naked sub waiting to greet me each day when I come home from work, for example, regardless of whether or not both of us really wanted that. Hmmm...Obviously a few things need to be negotiated beforehand.

Logic becomes my friend at this point. Logically, what are the boundaries that will need to be put in place in order to maintain the D/s relationship, yet still keep everyone who needs to be blissfully unaware of the relationship, blissful? Will he still call her Mistress, regardless of the situation, or will he use some other honourific that's less obvious? Will he hold her hand in public, like the sappy mushy romantic he is, or will he respectfully walk a pace behind her, to the left to show his submission in a subtle way that 99% of the viewing public won't even notice? It might take time and patience to find the things that will work, but anticipating and discussing some of these things ahead of time, should even out a few of the bumps.

There is so much more to consider and think about.
- Where will he sleep? Will he sleep in her room, either in her bed or in a separate cot, right from the start? Or will he have his own sleeping area or room, only to be invited into her room when she decides she wants him there?
- Will he work, or will he stay home and keep the house? Or will there be some sort of compromise between work and the home? And if he does work, how many hours (or how much money) is he expected to earn? Will all of his earnings be contributed to the household, or will he keep a portion for himself? Or perhaps he'll be given an allowance instead?
- What will she call him? How will she introduce him to her friends, neighbours, and colleagues?
The list of questions to be asked seems endless.

I can come up with a list of chores that I'd like him to perform for me so easily. But there's a lot more to having a sub in my home 24/7 than just giving him chores to do. There are a lot of questions that need to be considered. A lot of things that need to be discussed. It will take a lot of work. But the rewards... Seeing that look in his eyes when, with a touch, I tease and arouse him. Seeing that smile and being able to watch him turn to mush when I remind him that he's mine, and only mine. Being able to actually hold him in my arms, to touch him, to taste him... Oh yes... The rewards are so worth the effort required.

And just a side note. I would never leave him standing in the cold, waiting and wondering if I was coming to pick him up. LOL


Two suitcases, my whole life

Standing in the cold, shivering slightly even though I'm wearing a winter jacket, while I stand there with two suitcases by the curb of the airport he arrived that nigh at.  Wrapping my arms around myself to try and keep the cold out as i wait for Her to come and get me, whispering to myself, "please hurry up hon, its freezing out here."

I stood there, pacing, rubbing my arms to keep myself warmer, and had just debated going back into the terminal to warm up when a car pulls up. Watching as the car comes to a stop, hopeful that she is here, trying to smile, although he's very cold as he looks on.

Smiling more as I realizes that is really her, and walking over to hug her, kissing her softly, enjoying the warmth of her lips.  Not wanting to break that contact to quickly but reluctantly doing so, I say to her, "was beging to think you forgot I was arriving today.", she quickly replies  "I could always make you walk?" "Oh please don't
it's freezing out here."

She smiles that same smile at me that same smile just makes me melt like the last time they met, and knowing perfectly well what that she knows what that smile does to him, like most things she does and opens the back door of the car for the lugage, thinking as I places them into the car, today my new life starts and my whole life before has been condensed to two suitcases, course there was also his computer which should arive the following
day by mail.  Course none of that truely mattered as the woman who was taking me to her hone, their home I corrected myself was the one his new life would start with and many new experiences.

Once the suitcases where in the car, I go to her, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her deeply pressing close to her feeling her hands move to my chest and pushing me away, "We do need to get moving my needy one  It'll be late by the time we're home." We grin at each other before going to get in the car.

The ride to their home is uneventfull aside from some chit chat and the snow falling, while listening to whatever is playing on the radio.

Once home though and inside the door she turns and wraps both her arms around me, and I drop the suitcases and does the same to her, pressing close to her.  She kisses along my neck, tilting my head back and
bites my throat hard enough to mark me, grinning at me and mouthing "mine."  The instant reply in my head was, Always.

She then takes my hand leading me to the bedroom, our bedroom now, the forgotten suitcases still in the door way, but not thinking about those at thar moment.  Undressing each other quickly, laughing a bit about belts, and she pulls me onto the bed with her.  We kiss a long while, running hands over each other, her hand moving over the cage that is the only thing I wear at that moment, staring into her eyes, she whispers, "mine" once more before laying her head on my chest and we drift of to sleep like that.


Good Morning

Waking up, thinking about what you asked of me last night.  Don't know if I was hard already, or just became hard by thinking about what you wanted me to do.


Just a quick hello

I suppose I should say hello and introduce myself as well. I am known to a fair number of people online as Cridhe. For those who want to know, Cridhe is Gaelic and means 'heart'. It also means 'courage'.

I am a 33 year old mother of a 13 year old daughter, living in the bald-arsed prairies of Canada. Don't be surprised if I complain about the weather in a post. It's a Canadian thing. Sort of like Tim Horton's and toques. Yes, sometimes stereotypes really are true.

I wandered into BDSM some years ago. I have a wonderful friend who happens to be a switch, who gave me my first taste of BDSM. And the thirst for more grew from there. I stumbled into BDSM online, and found a smorgasbord of information (and misinformation), and an outlet for my interests that my then oh-so-uptight and traditional family and friends just didn't, or wouldn't, understand.

I am considered by some to be a switch myself, although for all intents and purposes, I am Domme to my lion's submissiveness. I'm very proud of the fact that he wears my collar...that he chose me, as much as I chose him. Ask me to describe those trembling days while I thought long and hard about whether I even wanted to take that step. To take that responsibility for another. Ask me if I regret it, even for a second. Ask him what the tag on his collar says. Those words say it all.

For now, I'm going to keep this short and sweet, otherwise I'll blather on for hours and hours. Stay tuned for more. ;-)

We Vibe II

So found this link over at Heartbreak Nymphomania, which lead to a review post about the We Vibe II, and apparently you can enter to win your very own, We Vibe II by blogging about the contest.  Looks like it could be very good fun for when me and Cridhe get together in person, so very much would like one, so here is my post about the contest, and linking to it, and saying, please give one for me and Cridhe to use.

Here's a quote from the review page:

We both liked it because we’ve tried to incorporate a vibrator before and well, quite frankly, it’s too much to try and stick in there at one time and one or both of us has to get a hand on the vibe to keep it in, or the vibrator comes out and it’s just a hot mess. This little cutie solved that problem for us in a big way. Can I tell you how nice it is to be able to easily use a toy simultaneously with the real thing? Not to mention that hubby loved the fact that I now have a vibrating vagina! We both agreed that it didn’t distract or detract from the experience.So we’re kind of fond of the little We-Vibe, around here.  It’s Very. Nice.


First Post, New Blog

This will be my first post on my newer blog. I decided to start one just to talk about my thoughts on sexuality, but doubt i'll still get around to posting to it regularly. Suppose I should try and set up one of my days off as blog day and just write something at the very least.

But for now, lets just get to know me shall we? We being a bit silly seeming as no one knows about the blog or like the other won't really stay around, but here goes.

I'm Joseph, and 30 years old, living in New Hampshire, USA. My life has been well, described as being rather deprived by some people I talk to now and then. I've only had a total of three sexual partners in my life, none of which where all that long lasting, though the last one was longer then most. Though that's only if you count physical intercourse as being a sexual partner. If you count people I've engaged cyber sex or phone sex with, then the number grows a fair bit.

I'm currently involved in a long distance relationship with someone I've met from a online chat site I go to semi-frequently, poolside chat, Cridhe, who is my Mistress/lover/friend// well ya get the idea.

Some time ago I was introduced to BDSM, and specifically D/s style relationships. Since then I started to wonder a number of things.

One is am I submissive? I don't believe that its a easy question to answer as what makes someone submissive seems to vary from person to person, but for the most part I do view myself as submissive, or least more submissive then not.

Second started to raise itself as I started to broadening my ideas of what I personally wanted sexually. I started to explore myself anally to try and see if this was really something I couldn't enjoy. I think if I'm honest with myself the exploration of my anus started a bit sooner then actually talking to someone about a woman using a strap-on on a man, but thats what sorta brought it more to the forefront. I had been using my fingers now and then before this.

After deciding to explore myself more anally I purchased two things. A dildo, and a plug. At first the plug was the cats meow. The first time I used the plug was quite the experience, specially once I turned on the the little mini bullet. Word to the wise..use a bit of lube to put the bullet in if you want to be able to retrieve it later...

The dildo on the other hand, I wasn't quite sure I liked and wasn't able to really insert it all the way to begin with. After playing with it a bit more, I've found its not really that bad, and I can insert it all the way now. It feels good, not as good as the plug for solo play, but I don't mind using it.

I got a little side tracked, the second question was exploring myself anally i started to wonder, could I be with another man? For the most part I've decided the answer is no. I just don't find men attractive and find the idea of being penetrated by a woman with a strap-on much more of a turn on then the thought of a man doing so. I could try it if I was single at some time if I found someone that would be comfortable with maybe, but don't really see it happening.

The last thing that started to happen after reading blogs like Unspeakable Axe and The Edge of Vanilla, is the idea of chastity or the very least the idea of orgasm denial started to become a bit of a prime fantasy, both in the being tortured and the final release from that torture.

I've also just been interested in sexuality in general from the LGTB community, to BDSM related topics, and so on. I like finding people who are willing to share sexual information freely and openly in ways that would help others.

For awhile i had anther blog, but couldn't quite figure out what to do with it, but started to think more about just posted sexuality related topics and perhaps a bit about my relationship with Cridhe as things go on.  Hopefully Cridhe will be a inspiration to great number of posts here, and maybe will have some posts from Her here as well.

Hope if anyone stops by will read, comment, and possibly even contact me to either give me ideas on new post, or just to talk about whatever.