2010-07-06

Four Months

Was trying to think a bit about what I would post as I should have wrote a bit before now, least feel like I should for well, what readers who are reading this would know. Know one has really asked about the post so much. Though I did have Candella ask me after the post was made if I was doing alright.

Candella and I haven't been in touch much since I left her collar and eventually ended up in Cridhe's but I do still talk to her from time to time.  Cause even though I decided that I didn't think that Candella and I was the right fit, I still would like to be her friend.  She is someone I will always care about regardless of who I am with, or what collar I wear.  I do still have the bracelet that she sent me around here some place.

Anyways I don't want to dwell to much on what prompted the transgression, not that it is not important, but want to focus on what is important to me, and that is my Mistress Cridhe.  I do want to say this, it was hard admitting that I had betrayed her trust in me.  I did not really want to tell her.  I thought about just trying harder and pretending it didn't happen.  But I couldn't do that, not to my Mistress who I love, even though she wouldn't know it if I didn't tell her, I would and that was reason enough for me to tell her.

I want to be fully honest with my Mistress, I want her to be able to trust me, and to be open with her.  I want both of us to be able to speak our minds as much as possible.

One thing she said sorta took me a back a bit, "I love making him cry because he's gone all mushy inside over something I've said or done." I do not think I have actually come right out and admitting that there are times when my eyes do well up with tears at how happy my Mistress makes me.

The distance right now between us, physically is a bit draining at time, its hard to always center myself in the distance cause there is so many times I just want to be touched by her, and to be able to touch her in return.  Right now I am just sitting here missing her terribly as its nearly one in the morning here and I should be going to bed soon, as it will be my bedtime.  I want my time with her though, i crave my time with her.

Right now we have been celebrating months since we have come into each other's lives, but I've thought a few times that after we met and after its been a year that perhaps we would go to only celebrating the years we have been together, but perhaps not.  Who knows, some time from now maybe I'll be saying well today is our seven year and four month anniversary and have someone ask me why I still count the months? and perhaps reply with something along the lines cause it would be a bit to tedious to keep track of the minuets that I have been with her.  Not that I remember the exact time, other then it was in the evening that I got the collar and put it on.

I'm still a bit worried about this coming fall cause I do need to try and find where we can spend some good quality private time together and not have to worry to much about my room mates or other people.  If anyone around the Claremont, New Hampshire area ends up reading this and has some ideas, please do share.

1 comment:

  1. My dear lion, ~hugs~ Wwe will always be friends. Im glad you still have the bracelet, twas a gift for you, and if you ever need to talk, you know how to find Me

    Candella

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