Image via WikipediaBut she is my love, my mistress and would do anything just to be able to hear her voice more, but aside from that I just want to be able to do more for her. Feel like a horribly selfish person that even though something is going on with her, that I just sorta want to say, look at me, I'm right over here...cross a country border, and several states away...but I'm here...aren't I wonderful-ish?
Then I remember that I haven't really been doing as much as I should be doing either even without talking to her, without those reminders that I am hers. Course should not really need reminding when I wear one around my neck, ever day, all day, when I shower, work, sleep, etc.
I have not been kneeling every morning like I am suppose to. Haven't been eating breakfast, I try to, but then last few mornings especially I have been getting up late, and just sort of space a fair number of things. I been trying to keep up with writing in my journal and been meaning to get around to scanning or photoing the pages, but I don't know if D has a scanner, and for some reason haven't just taking my camera and taking a couple snap shots of pages. Not sure how well she would be able able to read my handwriting anyways, so been thinking I should just write some of the entries if I promised not to modify what I wrote and just type what I wrote on the paper.
This post is from my journal, though its not word for work, I'm expanding a bit and re-organizing some thoughts, but for the most part is what I was thinking about today. One thing that annoys me sometimes when I write is I will have thought out this well put paragraph in my head, but could not write it down right then at the time and later when I go to finally write it down, I wonder what happened to that paragraph I was thinking about?
Lately just feels like a void has been creeping in between me Mistress, and I'm trying as hard as I can to see her through it. I'm really hoping that when this fall comes that it will help more solidify things between me and her and bring us closer then I even dream possible, but I also need to work harder at budgeting my spending so that I actually will have money saved up this fall, cause I won't be satisfied if it gets this fall and I'm as broke as I am now. Need to look more into where we are going to be staying this fall as well, find somewhere private.
Just as a aside from the main point of this post I'm glad that there are people who enjoy what I write aside from Cridhe, though the main point of writing most this is for her. I'm glad for the praise that I've gotten from some of the people over kittenplay.org which I joined not long ago just to sorta see what it was about after finding the link from Miss and pet over on Tumblr.
wow! you and I really do have a lot in common. We're gonna have to chat some time. Ya know.. that's why I don't write often. Oh I've got it all spelled out beautifully in my head, but when it comes time to actually write it down... BLANK!
ReplyDeleteha ha... I've been meaning to work on it too.
I'm sorry that you're going through this missing her period, but kudos for the good thoughts that you're still coming up with. It's hard to admit our selfishness when it comes to wanting to see our dominants, and sometimes we just have to suffer the pain to help ease their burden. And in the end.. easing their burden is what helps us get through it.
BTW... thanks a lot for the plug! ;)