I've been letting my thoughts on this topic percolate around in my brain for a while now, ever since lion told me about the podcast he'd listened to on the topic. I was a bit shocked to hear that there were people in the lifestyle who thought that children and D/s shouldn't co-exist. Ok, more than a bit shocked. Especially considering the fact that it was something I just couldn't see a problem with.
And then I started to wonder if maybe I was being a bad mother by not seeing that there was a problem with having a 24/7 D/s relationship with children in the house. I'm a bit of a worrier that way. L
But the more I thought about it, the less reason I could see to consider it a bad idea. Sure, like I said in a previous post, there'll be no naked sub waiting to greet me at the door. Well, maybe on special occasions when the kidlet is guaranteed to be away. But in general, it's not going to happen. So what? Naked subs are not essential for D/s. Nor is having a fully equipped dungeon in the basement. Nor is having sex whenever and wherever. Nor is constantly reminding him of his place through humiliation or other methods. Nor is... Do we sense a pattern here?
The fact is, I don't consider any of those things essential, in any way, for a D/s relationship. They might be icing on the cake, but they're not the cake. The only constant reminder I need that lion is mine, is the symbol he wears at his throat. And somehow, I think that the same probably holds true for him.
Rituals and habits can be formed, that make it so that no overt orders need to be made in front of unsuspecting children. The children don't need to know that dad always sets the table because mom told him that was his job to do. The children probably won't care, except that it's one less chore they have to do. Likewise, they probably won't care who does the majority of the housework, or who opens the doors for whom, or any of the other myriad small ways that one can show precedence to another. They might notice that mom has the final say in most, if not all decisions. But really, how different is that from any vanilla relationship? L
So yes, it might mean curtailing the outward, highly visible signs of a D/s relationship if there are children in the household, but I don't see a reason to hide the relationship completely. Ultimately, I think the sacrifices of those outward signs (icing) on a daily basis can be more than compensated for at other times. Just send the kids to aunty's house for the weekend or something, and enjoy each other to your heart's content.
Besides, I can't think of any better compensation for having to do without all that icing, than knowing that my lion is never more than a touch away.